Why Hallmark Would Never Hire Me

I've been with you from the start,
It's odd to think of us apart.
We've been around time and again,
You've introduced me to plenty of men.

But now my time is growing short,
You'll learn to get by without my sort.
I bore the fruit you did conceive,
Duty done - I'll take my leave.

It's been fun - all these years.
Don't you shed any tears.
But now and then - I hope you think of me,
After your hysterectomy.
- Love, Your Uterus.

My mom's having a hysterectomy Thursday. I looked all over Hallmark, but wasn't able to find a suitable card. Not that I expected them to have Shoebox cards reading "Hope you enjoy your last Mother's Day with a uterus!" but I was hoping for something with a fitting picture on the front that was blank inside.
No luck.