Not exactly. More like, "FUCKING DONUTS!!!!!!!" This weeks' waste of manhours - which is utterly pointless because the effort won't be sustained more than one month - is organizing all of the size donuts. You know, those little white circles on the hanger hooks that say XS, S, M, L, XL, 2X, 3X, S/M, M/L, 2/4, 6/8, 10/12, 14/16, 18/20, 2, 2s, 2l, 4 4s, 4l, 6, 6s...you get the idea. We also have donuts for men's jeans, with width and length. All of these millions of donuts are chucked together and need sorting out so we can find what we need when we need it & know what we need to order more of. They're a mess because no one puts them away where they're supposed to go, they just get chucked by the handful where ever's close by. Plus, a lot of them have been on the floor, and even the ones that haven't have been sitting and the floor is hardwood, so the stores' always mega-dusty and the donuts are filthy. Not obviously filthy, but filthy on your hands after 6 hours of sorting them.
So, I'm sorting out buckets of mismatched donuts into more buckets of matched donuts. All fucking day. I might not have minded so much, but I had to work morning shift. I'm shocked I was scheduled at all today, because they usually don't trust me to be around when corporate stops in. I guess they figured I couldn't cause as much trouble if I was assigned to register because I couldn't leave that area of the store.
Anyway, the problem with morning shift is I'm NOT in any way a morning person. I don't even fall asleep until 3am most nights. Last night I drifted off around 1, woke up at 7. Thank god there was fresh coffee waiting. I drank over a pint before leaving the house. I took another pint in a mug to work, but I was told I wasn't allowed to take it out onto the floor. Being assigned to register, I knew I'd be stuck there for at least 3 hours - and I'd forget about my coffee by then anyhow, so I decided to just chug it before I was chained to my post.
I'm a spaz to begin with. Don't ask me to stay in one spot all morning when I've consumed around a gallon of hot coffee - I don't fuck with the decaf shit. I was so damn bouncy, and all I had to to was sort the fucking donuts. My hands were shaking & I was dropping donuts and every time I bent down to pick them up, my knee started twitching...did I mention I've been drinking Sierra Mist lately, so my body has been nearly caffeine-free for about the past month?
Yeah. Bouncy. Yup. Coffee. Fucking donuts. Donuts go good with coffee. But not these donuts. I hate these donuts.
Lunch came at half-past-noon, just as the coffee buzz was wearing down to leave me in that zombie state of diluted awareness. Luckily, there's a coffee shop just down the hall from the store. They have cheesecake flavoring! Frickin' Sweet! I had a grande-mega-yummy Double Shot Cheesecake Latte for lunch. Yum. Caffeine. Yum. Did I already say yum? Because this is yummy. Cheesecake is so good. And as a latte. Caffeine please. Mmmmm.....
That wore off just as I was headed home. I got stuck in traffic and almost fell asleep waiting for it to move, but made it home safely to pass out on the couch for an hour. All in all, not a bad day - although my brain is still woozy from all the caffeine, and now none again. Maybe I'll make some more coffee. Just no donuts. I don't even want to see cake donuts for at least a month. Maybe two.
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