With Mother's Day coming up, the store has a table set up with "Mom Shirts" and the upper halves of 3 womannequins. I said we should stuff the shirts to make the womannequins look pregnant. Jessica said there's some rule about enhancing mannequins.
Technically, I can't consider a baby belly any kind of enhancement, I think that rule was made solely for boobs & balls. Also, on a less interested level, I wonder that there was so much enhancing going on that a rule had to be made against it.
I wasn't allowed to "enhance" the womannequins, and Jessica pointed out to me that not all mom's are pregnant. This is true, although most mom's were pregnant for a period of time. So, the obvious solution of how to designate motherhood without making anything larger?
I'm trying to track down a dry erase marker to draw stretch marks on the bellies - this will be fun because the shirts are tied up to show off just a bit of the waistline. Any guesses on how long it will take someone to notice?
Also on the topic of mannequins, it has come to my attention that male mannequins have some funked up equipment. Technically, they don't have any equipment, just a bulge to serve as the stick & sack. However, they do have a slight Vee of the abdomen for a 6-pack. What stymies me are two extensions on either side slightly below the Vee, coming up from the stick & sack. They seem to be either very small representations of a double equipped male, or two very large veins leading into the gentiles.
Jessica admitted that although she's slept with a lot of men, she's not expert enough to know what the hell the protrusions are. I said we should ask a guy, and since there was only one working that night, Logan fell prey. Jessica & Ginny asked him what the bumps were, Logan, in a movement forever burned into my brain, reached down to feel his crotch, then replied, "I don't know...I sure as hell don't have them."
Fun link for the night: My Theme Songs!
7 comments:
Pictures, please! Veins? I know about A vein, but not dual groin-straddling veins.
Must have pictures of this protrusion, as well as pictures of drawn-on stretch marks. You're going to use yellow, right, assuming the wommanequins are whitequins?
And btw, I love your comments on my blog. How did you find me?
Oh, hell. I remember. It was from Jaye and the stalking and such.
I will work on getting pictures, I'm planning to "anti-enhance" the mommequins tomorrow, just to see if the district manager will notice on his visit.
And yes, through Jaye, and the alleged "stalking." You posted some witty comment on her blog & I went to yours in search of more wittiness. Then decided to stay and cause trouble when the opportunity presents itself.
Thanks for stoppin by & leavin a comment.
Oh ye of no stretch marks, how callously you laugh. Karma, my friend, karma.
Karma can bit my ass, I'm not having kids. I have two very troublesome cats and that's almost more than I can handle some days. Kids are not for me. Honestly, would you even want to live in the same hemisphere as the demons I would spawn?
Besides, it's meant to honor mothers by distinguishing their mannequins from all the others. Being special means standing out. You want your own day, you're gonna be different, damnit! I don't have my own day, so your mannequins are getting stretch marks.
You do have your own day--it's called Halloween.
I have decided that, no, Halloween is NOT my day. As much as I love Halloween, it doesn't celebrate me. If it was my day, I'd be getting something out of it. Instead, I give out sweet chocolate to whiny spoiled kids in photo-copy-costumes, for the most part, or high school kids in baggy clothes saying they're dressed as bums. Costumes you wear to school every day do not merit candy.
If Halloween was MY day, I'd be getting candy - and not because I bought it myself.
Post a Comment